Tip - Dear Goatee Wearers

Why do you do it? Do you think that women actually want to be seen with somebody who looks like he would be happier tethered in the back yard with the lid left off the bin? It takes us some time to sort out which way up your heads are, and any closer investigation leaves us with debilitating "goatee rash' - a red blush of sympathetic shame for a partner's chin crime.