Life
involves emotional stresses and strains. Being diagnosed with HIV, and living
with it, will at times cause such stresses, and some aspects of your life will
become more complicated – and possibly stressful – because of HIV.
Finding
out that you have HIV can lead to a wide range of feelings. It is common to
feel fear (including fear of illness or dying), worry, concern about what other
people will think, guilt, shame, embarrassment, anger and sadness after a
diagnosis. Some people feel numb, and others feel a sense of relief that they
have finally found out about their status.
You
may question how your life will be living with HIV; it can be easy to assume
the worst. However, the feelings people have about HIV can change over time, so
your initial response to finding out that you have HIV is unlikely to last.
Many people find that they gradually come to terms with having HIV, although
some aspects of being HIV positive can still make them feel anxious or
distressed.
Attending
regular medical appointments, experiencing ill health, starting or changing
treatment, disclosing your status or starting a new relationship can all be
sources of anxiety or cause emotional distress. Sometimes these can involve a
revisiting or reconsideration of feelings about life with HIV. In the
end, many people with HIV will find that their emotional wellbeing is affected
by life with the virus from time to time, no matter how successful an
adjustment they have made to their diagnosis.
Remember
that it's perfectly acceptable to have feelings that you find difficult.
Although it can be easier said than done, don't feel bad about feeling bad.
Acknowledging and accepting your feelings is an important first step to working
them out. Even though it can be hard to feel this way, experiencing emotions
like anger, anxiety and fear are often normal responses to events during your
life, including some of the adjustments you may have to make because of HIV.
It’s
also important to know that there’s a lot you can do to look after your emotional
wellbeing.
Talking
about your experiences and feelings with a loved one, friend or another person
with HIV can be a big help. When you are finding your thoughts
and feelings difficult to understand or work through, psychological
therapies can be helpful. Your HIV clinic should be able to help you find a
suitable therapist if they don’t offer such services themselves. (See page 38 for
more help with finding a therapist.)
Looking
after the basic requirements of life – getting enough sleep, eating properly
and managing stress – provides an important foundation for your emotional
wellbeing. So if you are having problems with these daily activities for any
reason, it may be good sense to ask for professional help. 
Trouble sleeping is the most widely reported psychological
disorder in the UK, affecting 30% of the population. Many people with HIV
report difficulties relating to sleep (it was identified as the third most
significant issue in a survey of people living with HIV, with 70% of
respondents reporting some problems with sleep). Difficulty going to sleep or
staying asleep can be the result of worry, stress or mental health
problems, or the cause of them.
For
many people, having a drink or occasionally using recreational drugs is a
pleasurable part of life. However, alcohol and mind-altering drugs are
also used by many people for short-term relief when they
are experiencing difficult feelings. They might offer temporary
relief, but in the long run relying on them is likely to make your
feelings harder to deal with. Prolonged and excessive drinking and drug-taking
can also damage your physical health and affect how your body absorbs anti-HIV
drugs, as well as making it harder to remember to take your HIV treatment.
Feeling
isolated can be a source of distress, or can make feelings of distress worse.
Finding ways of interacting with other people in ways that you are comfortable
with is important to good emotional wellbeing. Many HIV support organisations
offer one-to-one and group peer support. You may also want to join
non-HIV-related organisations, based on your interests, to meet other people
and help you feel less alone.
Taking
part in productive and enjoyable activities can help promote a feeling
of wellbeing. For example, volunteering in your local community – perhaps
with a charity or community group – can be a good way of meeting people,
developing new skills and increasing self-esteem and confidence, as well as of
helping others. You can find out more about volunteer work and see what types
of opportunities are available, on the Volunteering England website: www.volunteering.org.uk.
Having
interests that you find engaging and rewarding (in any way) are important.
Setting goals for yourself can give you a sense of purpose. It's most helpful
if these goals are realistic and can be achieved by taking small, measurable
steps.
Some
people find that faith or spirituality are important sources of comfort and
stimulation. Prayer, meditation or quiet reflection can be helpful for reducing
stress and loneliness. And religious or cultural communities can be key
networks of support and social interaction.
